Dear friends and clients of Tom King at GrowitForward.com,
Because of my own experiences and those of many of my counseling and coaching clients over the years, I have developed a special interest in helping people heal from religious shaming. Many of us have had religious experiences that have left us feeling unworthy, confused about our purpose, and feeling that love is contingent on certain conditions or beliefs. There are ways of healing from these experiences of shame without abandoning religious or spiritual faith, and I have decided now is the time to share some of these discoveries with a larger audience. To be clear, even though this topic includes areas of religion and spirituality, I am writing as a therapist, not a philosopher or theologian. I will, however, be tapping the wisdom of people who are experts in those subjects, as they apply to differing world views and the issue of shame. I am working on a book on an integral path to healing religious shame, and this newsletter blog is a way for you to stay informed, be a part of this journey, and work on your own healing as we grow forward together.
Allow me to briefly introduce you to the integral path. It is based on the insights of integral psychology, which is about helping people mature and heal through a developmental and unfolding process of growth and change. It is a bit like climbing up a large hill on a path that spirals up to the top. Each time you circle around to the same lookout spot, your perspective changes because you are higher up than before. In future newsletters I will share much more about this integral path to healing and the books, authors, and resources that have contributed to this philosophy.
Therapeutic tip: Take some time to reflect on your own religious experiences over the course of your life. Notice any messages or feelings you internalized that say you are bad at your core and worthy only of punishment. Sit quietly and let yourself feel what you feel without fear or judgement. What are the feelings telling you? What are you sad about or angry about? Who or what are you resentful of? Imagine how you would listen and try to comfort a friend, your child or loved one if they told you about these feelings. Apply this same kindness and compassion to yourself in this moment. You are worthy of it.