This is the time of year when many of us think about goals, intentions, and hopes for the new year. These things tend to demand better habits, growth, and sometimes transformation to become our reality, and we have all had the experience of letting our good intentions fall away and not make any real changes. This is also true around spiritual growth and recovery. We tend to want to wait for God to change us, but in truth we need to do our part in the process of waking up and growing up.
Meditation
One verse for meditation found in the Centering Prayer App is 2 Corinthians 3:17: Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. All of us, gazing with unveiled face on the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, as from the Lord who is the Spirit. There are many rich things within this verse that one can reflect and meditate on, but one thing apparent to me is that transformation, as described in this verse, is a cooperative process. We are invited to “gazed with unveiled face on the glory of the Lord”. There are many possible cultural and historical meanings around the practice of head and facial veils to consider, but for purposes of this article I am looking through the lens of integral psychology.
From a psychological perspective a veil over the face is a way of hiding, perhaps in modesty and respect, or perhaps from a position of shame. Whatever our state of mind, we again are invited to spend time looking “on the glory of the Lord”; just as we are, without hiding, pretending, or groveling in shame. This may involve different practices for different religions or cultures, but in any case, it is not passive, and it requires openness and willingness to participate in a process of change.
John Shelby Spong, in A New Christianity for a New World, talks about the need to grow up in our faith, assume responsibility for our lives and learn to be fully alive. He notes that our traditional theistic frameworks encourage us to think of ourselves as shameful, unworthy, childlike and dependent. We want to be taken care of, protected, told what to do or not to do. In our modern and post-modern world, he calls us to grow beyond our child-like dependencies and into maturity. Likewise, the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:11 states: When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I set aside childish ways. This also seems like a call for taking adult responsibility for our lives, our beliefs, and faith practices.
Transformation is a journey, not an event. A few of us are fortunate enough to experience dramatic encounters with Spirit, as in the story of Paul on the road to Damascus. Another example comes from author Federico Faggin, in his book Irreducible: Consciousness, Life, Computers, and Human Nature. Federico Faggin is an Italian- American physicist, engineer, inventor and entrepreneur. He is best known for designing the first commercial microprocessor, the Intel 4004. He describes going through a period of midlife crisis and despair, and a struggle to find meaning, truth, and purpose. Then he describes his spiritual awakening, which he experienced as a broad beam of white light, alive with an energy of love gushing from his heart with incredible strength. Next, he states, the light exploded, filled the room and expanded to embrace the entire universe with the same white brilliance.
“I knew then” Faggin stated, “without a shadow of a doubt, that this was the substance out of which everything that exists is made”. This experience, of course, changed his life and triggered transformation. He did not turn to either religious or scientific dogmas to explain his experience, but moved beyond classic physics and religion, and began to explore spirituality and quantum physics in earnest. If you are interested in a deeper understanding of how our universe operates from a quantum physics perspective, this is a book you may find intriguing.
Few of us have such profound awakening experiences, and our own transformations are more of a journey, often over a period of years. We are usually most open to working on transformation during times of crisis, change, and transitions in our lives. These are situations in which we tend to seek out therapy, support groups, spiritual counsel, or others means of growth. We are challenged through these hard situations to give up childish ways and participate in our transformation, as the apostle Paul encourages. As we grow into maturity we learn to move past our shame-based reactions, such as:
- Defensiveness; including anger, sarcasm, and personal attacks.
- Victim mentality: blaming others for how you feel and react, thinking about how unfair life is, thinking no one loves you or cares about your feelings or wellbeing.
- Getting down on yourself, e.g. “I am so stupid”, “I am a hopeless, wretched sinner”, etc.
- Coping and compensation behaviors that are destructive to self, and others, and hinder your growth.
Contrasted by mature reactions, such as:
- Learning to respond thoughtfully, rather than just reacting habitually to stress.
- Assuming responsibility for yourself, your feelings, thoughts and reactions, rather than blaming the world.
- Practicing compassion and forgiveness towards self and others. Refusing to harbor resentments, anger, or bitter attitudes.
- Being more self-aware. Choosing healthier coping strategies. No longer compensating in hurtful ways, such as addictions, numbing feelings, self-centered actions.
- Growing in love. Loving freely, even if you don’t get it in return. Not loving in co-dependent ways.
- Speaking truth to one another in a spirit of love.
None of this is easy, but we are not alone. The meditation verse above notes that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom, and I would add, freedom from hopelessness and self-condemnation, freedom from old perspectives and conditioned ways of reacting. As we take the time to be still, listen, pray, and meditate, we are promised that we can be transformed more and more into the image of Christ. This is not a passive process but a decision to participate in our own growth. Help is available from many excellent authors, therapists, spiritual leaders, and other loving people we may already have in our lives.
Therapy Tip
Doing this therapeutic and spiritual work can lead to a new awareness and experience of wholeness. Wholeness is not about perfection or trying to rid ourselves of pain, darkness or feelings of evil. Rather, it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life. There is in nature, day and night, darkness and light, life and death. But darkness does not need to overwhelm or define us. Wholeness means learning to love, accept, and own all of who we are and being at peace with our humanity. In some ways this makes life more demanding, which is why we need to have community to support us on our way.
I end with this quote from author and teacher, Parker Palmer: The only way to become whole is to put our arms lovingly around -everything- we know ourselves to be: self-serving and generous, spiteful and compassionate, cowardly and courageous, treacherous and trustworthy. We must be able to say to ourselves and to the world at large, “I am -all- of the above. If we can’t embrace the whole of who we are–embrace it with transformative love–we’ll imprison the creative energies hidden in our own shadows and be unable to engage creatively with the world’s complex mix of shadow and light.