1 Corinthians 13: 11-12
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
The apostle Paul understood the developmental process of growing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and called for us to continue the journey into maturity. It is a natural human process but growing to higher levels of maturity requires intention, awareness, study, discipline, and the support of community. Our level of maturity shows up in our internal thoughts, attitudes, and perspectives and in our words, reactions and behaviors. Levels of maturity are also reflected socially in our communities and cultural attitudes and behaviors.
Challenges on the Journey to Maturity
Many things can interfere with, delay, and disrupt our development, such as trauma, unresolved shame, and the influence of our experiences within the communities we are a part of and the sources of information we consume. We can also be limited by our lack of awareness, our capacities, or our unwillingness to change and grow. Today the call to maturity seems more urgent than ever.
Developmental models such as the Integral Philosophy framework I have written about in previous articles can bring clarity. This is a framework that describes a hierarchy of developmental levels and ways in which we see and understand reality from different perspectives, using different structures of thinking at different levels of maturity. In theory, we learn to embrace more complexity and broader perspectives as we grow. However, if we only understand development intellectually, we are in danger of becoming judgmental and arrogant, implying that those at higher levels are superior to those at lower levels on the framework. Maturity, especially spiritual maturity, shows up very differently. Maturity is deeper and combines wisdom of the mind and the heart, and qualities of character including humility, compassion, and love.
In a recent Integral Life podcast, Keith Martin-Smith noted that some of us don’t do the work of growing through and internalizing the important values and virtues of each stage, a process which allows us to evolve into the next level and include those important qualities. He pointed out how some young adults, for example, enter college at the pre-modern, Amber stage and get exposed to and adopt postmodern, Green concepts, before they have worked through and internalized the modern, Orange level values and principles. Then we see this group speaking the language of pluralism and inclusion but with the pre-modern lens of black and white, authoritarian moral reasoning. Having bypassed the Orange developmental stage, they are not well grounded in important principles like using scientific data to support positions and policies or honoring free speech as a fundamental right in this country, even if it offends you. Consequently, we see people on both sides of the political divide insisting their view is the only valid view and shouting one another down rather than listening and being open to respectful debate and compromise.
Keith also pointed out that if we do the work of development, those at higher levels of development tend to experience more spiritual awakening and connectedness, and this shows up in qualities of humility and compassion. However, he also observed that the higher the developmental stage, the more subtle the distortions and shadow issues, which makes it harder to see one’s own blind spots. At any stage we may still have unresolved wounds and shame which manifest in anger, resentment, control, and intolerance of others. Maturity not only requires growing through each stage of development, but it also requires working through our shame and shadow issues. Growing into maturity requires the willingness to take feedback, self-reflect, practice humility, and extend grace and forgiveness toward self and others.
What Maturity Looks Like
Integral author and teacher Ken Wilbur teaches that in addition to the levels, there are multiple lines of development, such as intellectual, emotional, spiritual, interpersonal, artistic, and others. It is important to understand that people at any stage of development in this framework can be spiritually aware and mature. The specific beliefs, values, and focus will be different at different developmental world views, but at any level, the spiritually mature will live out the qualities of love, humility, gratitude, service, and integrity.
In his book For Love of the Real: A Story of Life’s Mystical Secret, Llewellyn Vaughen-Lee notes that the wisdom traditions teach us that we are here to be of service; servants of God. Maturity manifests in service in our everyday, ordinary lives. “Being engaged in ordinary life allows us to be of service without the burden of thinking we can solve the world’s or other people’s problems, which brings with it self-importance and, worse, spiritual self-importance. There is nothing more beautiful and powerful on this plane than a human being aligned with the Absolute, in service to the Absolute, who wants nothing for him or herself. Service is not a denial of yourself; it is an affirmation of Self.”
Especially in today’s political and cultural climate it is easy to get swept up in judgements, criticism, and cynicism. It is easy to focus on our own needs, fears, and perception of reality and forget that we are called to service, love, and humility. Here again is the apostle Paul describing for us what spiritual maturity looks like:
1 Corinthians 13: 5-7
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
Peter Traben Haas offers this prayer for meditation:
Abba:
“Saturate my heart with the qualities of your Spirit. Draw me deeper into your presence beyond the silence. I ask for help today for all the questions I ponder and live with. Where I object to the way things are, help me to live in trust. Help me to hold my interpretations of reality loosely, gently, and humbly, in the recognition that you can transform my apparatus of perception to experience all things differently in the light of your love.”
Amen
Therapy Tip
Doing the work of development and working through our shame issues that we have pushed into our shadow is a process that, in my experience, takes time, determination, and gentleness. Because it is hard to see our own blind spots, it is often helpful to work with a therapist or coach who can shed light on those parts of ourselves, be a mirror for us, and ask reflective questions. As noted, understanding the concept and stages of development is a useful guide for the journey. Also, the discipline of certain practices such as consistent meditation and prayer and contributing to our communities keeps our hearts and minds open and willing to humbly learn and grow.