We all know we are living in times of conflict and chaos, indeed what seems like very calculated chaos in our nation. On top of that you may also be experiencing crisis and chaos in your personal life for one reason or another. Life is never short of challenges, and we often question how to respond and cope in ways that are healthy. If you are a person of religious or spiritual faith, how does that color your perceptions and help keep you grounded? What brings you peace and keeps you centered?
I sometimes suggest some grounding questions to my clients, such as:
- What is the actual truth of my situation?
- What is most important to me?
The truth is often different than your initial thoughts, which are mixed with your feelings and biases. When you take time to pause and breath deeply, step back and reflect, you can sort out what the facts are, what is about you and what is not, and what you really have control over. Reflecting on what is important forces you to think about your values, what you believe in, and what you need in this situation. When you answer those questions honestly you usually know what you need and should do next.
If you are a Christian, you have declared that Jesus is your vision of what it means to live with full integrity, to love extravagantly from a heart that is pure, and to be so completely grounded in who you are that nothing, not even the threat of rejection, shame, or death at the hands of those in power, will stop you from speaking truth and living out your mission. Most of us fall far short of that vision and we get stuck in our human limitations. Our perspectives are shaped by our experiences, cultures, the sources of information we consume, and our own level of development. Nonetheless, we are challenged to grow beyond those limitations, stretch beyond our boundaries, and embrace new possibilities. Jesus always called his followers into new levels of awareness and experiences of faith, and to greater expressions of compassion, service, and love. He broke through barriers, boundaries, and expectations and instructed us to do the same.
It does not matter whether you consider yourself conservative, moderate, or liberal, or what color you identify with on the spiral of development, the call to service and to love your neighbor as yourself, applies to all of us. If you are at the Blue/Fundamental level and embrace traditional religious beliefs, then by definition you take the words of Jesus seriously. If you consider yourself at the Orange/Modern level or Green/Postmodern level, you may not embrace the same religious views, but when you are psychologically healthy you will embrace these values as universal. Those who live from the Yellow/Integral perspective will embrace the healthy parts of the whole spiral and respect those who live out their faith with love and service in different ways. All of us can benefit from practices that keep us centered and grounded in wholistic values and help us sustain healthy and respectful relationships.
Divine Therapy
Another way to practice a healthy sense of being comes out of the tradition of contemplative prayer, embraced by many different religions. This is a spiritual and psychological practice that anyone can use to gain a sense of peace and wholeness within. Thomas Keating, who was an American priest and Trappist monk, taught and wrote about this practice, which he called centering prayer, from a Christian perspective for many years. In his book, Divine Therapy, he talks about the journey of detachment from our false or conditioned self, allowing the process of inner healing, and evolving toward our true self, which is intertwined in mysterious ways with the Divine.
If you want to be free, he suggests, if you want to heal your relationship with God, with others and yourself, then enter your inner room, where the Divine Therapy takes place. Close the door, quiet your interior dialogue so that you can listen to what the Spirit is saying to you. The purpose of Divine Therapy is to enable you to become who you really are.
The process he describes is not much different from other forms of meditation or deep relaxation except for the emphasis on spiritual growth. Sitting quietly in silence with eyes closed for several minutes, breathing slowly, letting yourself relax, and trying to focus only on your breath or a sacred word is the essence of this type of practice. That is not to say that it is easy because it does require patience, consistency, and self-discipline over time to reap the rewards of this practice. But being healthier, more joyful, and more grounded and centered in who you are is worth the investment in my experience.
When you keep yourself grounded in this healthy awareness of who you are and what you believe is most important, you are then able to act and respond to crises and chaos in more constructive ways. This may involve setting better boundaries with those who try to hurt you or manipulate you. It may mean listening to understand and speaking the truth in a spirit of love to those you want a better relationship with. It may mean putting in a little extra effort to educate yourself about human history as well as the facts and data of current affairs. And it may mean standing up to power in whatever form of protest makes the most sense to you. We are free to make choices. Let us choose from a place of self-awareness and integrity.
Therapy Tip
While these are individual practices and actions, you do not have to be alone in them. Especially during times of fear and stress it is important to connect with others who understand, care, and are willing to support you. They may be people within your own family or network of friends. It may also be others in your community, like within your church, a support group, or a therapist. You may consider being a part of a book club with those with similar interests and values. Or you may be able to find or start a centering prayer group within your church or other support system. It is easier to stay grounded and centered in your core strengths and values when you share the ups and downs with others on the path who are also learning and growing. It is critical not to succumb to despair and hopelessness, collectively or individually. Getting support, working together, and staying clear and grounded in one’s values and priorities will enlighten the way forward.