We are all wounded and broken by life at times, in one way or another. Instinctively we seek relief and freedom from our pain, fear, and sadness. We don’t always know what we need, we just want to feel loved, to feel whole. The paths we choose may look very different but the desire to fulfill our core human needs, such as love, safety, and worthiness, is universal. Our ways of searching may lead us into and through darkness such as depression, addictions, or cult-like religious beliefs, all in hopes of finding relief from our pain and shame. And through it all, there is grace.
It is hard for us as human beings to conceive of, much less to embrace the kind of grace that is divine; grace that is grounded in unconditional love, grace that is always present, grace that never gives up on us. Divine grace that transforms does not descend from the sky during acceptance of an alter call, or magically rescue us, but is already present and ready to guide us, hold us, and walk with us into and throughout our journey of personal recovery and evolution.
The grace of God, as we witness in Jesus, sees us as we are; imperfect and struggling, not deserving love, yet declared worthy of love. This kind of grace does not demand perfection or require punishment of sins. Instead, it allows us to experience the natural consequences of our choices and the sins we commit, and stays present, loving and accepting. Grace stands with us and leads us to healing and wholeness. That is very different than our human projections of grace and the nature of God.
Our projections of God’s grace tend to align with our level of mental, emotional, and spiritual development. The God of judgement who needed Jesus to be perfect rather than human and then to punish and kill him in our place is not a description of unconditional love and grace. The God who saves some and condemns others is not a God of wholeness. These reflect perspectives of people thinking of God in tribal terms and the black and white beliefs of the Red/Pre-modern level of development on the integral framework, taught by Ken Wilbur and others. These perspectives became institutionalized at the traditional Amber level of development within the Christian church and are still being taught to our children and passed down through generations of believers. Perhaps it is time to grow beyond those projections of God and open to genuine grace that waits to walk with us into transformation and wholeness.
A wonderful description of one man’s journey through hell on earth can be found in the book The Lie That Kills Us, We All Have Elephants, by Ed Treat. Author Ed Treat is a former pastor and the current Executive Director of the Center of Addiction & Faith, located in Minnesota. Reverend Treat candidly shares his own painful journey through chemical dependency and mental health struggles and into recovery. He described his early image of God as a mix between Santa Claus and Genghis Khan who rewarded the good and punished the bad. This God was unpredictable, quick to anger and impossible to please. It was his sponsor who helped him see that this was a projection of his earthly father, not the God of love.
Through his recovery journey, with the support of his recovery community, Reverend Treat was able to let go of his shame-based image of God and discover God as “mysterious, loving, present in suffering, working through community, and far bigger than anything my fear could construct”. He calls this transformation theology, in which radical acceptance is paired with a persistent invitation to become whole. He notes that recovery begins in reality – with honesty, humility, and a love that refuses to flinch in the face of our mess. He goes on to say that God didn’t rescue him from his pain and the consequences of his choices but walked with him on this journey. “I couldn’t save myself, but I did have to participate in my own rescue”.
Our spiritual well-being is like our physical health or mental health, in that neglect, laziness, self-abuse, lack of self-discipline, and lack of necessary support lead to poor health and lack of vitality. We can’t control outside forces and factors like our genetics and environment, but we must take responsibility and choose how we respond to them and how we care for our own well-being, as well as others around us. Grace, whether divine or human, stands with us, supports, encourages, and loves us through the journey. Yes, ultimately, we all die but the challenge is how we shall live today. Divine grace tells us that even death is a transition with the hope of new beginnings.
Under the Shadow of Grace
Under the shadow of grace, I pray to discover more of the unfolding largeness of your love.
Where can I go where you are not with me?
Who can I be where you will not meet me?
Show me my fears, that I may not be driven by them.
Show me where my heart closes down to love, that I may learn to open to it in the presence of fear and worry.
Centering Prayers, by Peter Traben Haas
Therapy Tip
Throughout life we are on a developmental journey and the opportunities to learn and grow never end. To evolve up the spiral, to become healthier and more whole we need to do our part. Like any voyage, this takes time and there will be challenges and struggles. But that is how we learn and evolve, keeping an open mind and heart. Getting better at any challenge requires discipline and practice and yet we can find joy in the process. Transformation happens when we accept the loving grace of God, the support of others, and take ownership of our growth and development while also giving grace to ourselves. Then, as Reverend Treat points out, we can become supporters, helpers, and healers of others, turning our pain into passion and purpose.